the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize