did you get engaged???
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
