He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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