i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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