do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
