and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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