I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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