I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
