I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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