I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
