yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize