Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize