I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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