I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
