you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
