so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize