a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
