Plan B is the new Plan A
one might say we're banned from that church
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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