any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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