): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize