So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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