there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
