I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
