What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
being pregnant is like rehab
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
