oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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