Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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