Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
