so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize