508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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