1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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