i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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