They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
