So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize