Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
