party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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