I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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