found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
