Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
