my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize