Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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