it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
