nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
