Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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