I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
