It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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