Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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