She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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