Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
