So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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