Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
