summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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