He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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