She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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