We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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