somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
