Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
