i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
