mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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