I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
