nut hugger
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
