would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
