I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
