I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You left your underwear on the fireplace
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I party with great urgency now.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
