wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
