Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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