:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
