you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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