i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
