I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
