you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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