Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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