apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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