I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
