No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My penis needs a shock collar
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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