just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize